


Writing Pet Peeves

by TheSilverMoonTavern



Category: None - Fandom
Genre: Humor, Humourous, Just sit back and enjoy the bitching, Other, Truth, complaining, relatable, relate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-06-27 07:05:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19785721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSilverMoonTavern/pseuds/TheSilverMoonTavern
Summary: Just some pet peeves our bartender has when she reads the stories of other writers.





	1. Edit Your Work Already

[You might enjoy this.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gv0H-vPoDc)

"I absolutely cannot stand when authors don't look over their work, and apologize for it. If you're so sorry about it, just edit it! It makes your story so much better and doesn't interrupt the flow! If you can't even read your own story to make it readable, why should I spend my own time attempting to read it for enjoyment?" 

"The only real exception is when the occasional grammar error or misspelled word gets past the radar during editing. We are humans, we are not perfect, we make mistakes. When there are only a few misspelled words in a chapter, along with no worthless apology, I believe I can safely assume that the author did look over their word but made a few mistakes. I know I have. Especially when a one-shot or chapter is rather long." 


	2. Learn What Commas and Periods Are

"Why do people write like this?"

Bob walked to the store to meet up with his friend Jerry so they could go back to his place and watch How to Train Your Dragon 3. During the middle of the movie Bob got hungry and went to the kitchen to make popcorn while also asking Jerry if he wanted any. Bob put the popcorn bag in the microwave and waited for the snack to finish cooking while watching the movie from the kitchen. (I know this isn't the best example, but it's the best I could do.) 

"Like, Author, slow down. All of your sentences are run ons. Where are the commas? Some stories don't even have periods! They're just one giant paragraph! Like, how old are you? Do you pay attention even a little in English class? Do you realize how distracting this is? Do you even know what a comma is!?" 


	3. Not Understanding The Space Bar

"So I once read this story a couple months back, and it was honestly written in this format."

Marry was playing video games in her room while her dog,Dutch,took a nap in the corner.After awhile Marry became bored and switched to YouTube.She then went to visit her favorite YouTuber,(Insert name here.)Unfortunately,they had not posted anything today. 

"Why person!? I even confronted them that this is not how you use commas and periods. They responded saying they did not know that at the time of writing the story, but they did now. And do you know what they did? Nothing! That's the problem! You see your story has a major flaw, and you just leave it! This goes back to the editing thing! It was so distracting. I wanted to enjoy the story, I really did. But it was too distracting for me when it looks like all the words are trying to bleed into each other." 


	4. Every Word Does NOT Need to be Capitalized

"Title explains itself. But I'm going to give you an example anyway; so we can both suffer." 

I Was Walking To School, Like Any Other Day Of The Week. It Was Rather Cloudy Today. I Guess That Makes Sense, It Is Autumn, After All. I Tugged My Jacket Just A Little Bit Closer To Me As A Chilly Wind Blew By. Note To Self, Next Time I Go Shopping, Get A Thicker Coat. 

"Just look at that! So distracting and incorrect!" 


	5. Use Capitalization, You Have the Shift Bar for a Reason

"I find it so irritating when author's can't even remember the three most simple rules of capitalization.: 1. Always capitalize the word I. 2. Always capitalize the first word after a period. 3. Always capitalize a name, months, etc." 

my little brother and i went to the zoo today. he kept bugging me about wanting to see the zebras, so i finally gave in to his constant whines. at least mom and dad were kind enough to spare some money to me for this torturous day. 

"*Agitated sigh of disappointment*." 


	6. Please Learn How People Talk

"Ram: Maybe one day a lot of authors will realize that people use quotation marks (") to speak, and not this role playing 'put speaker's name then a colon' nonsense." 

Jenny: I have a bad feeling about this. 

Rick: Why? Is it because we're a little high up? 

Jenny: Just a little bit!? We're hanging off a building, Rick! 

**The Proper Way, in First Person**

"I have a bad feeling about this." I told my boyfriend Rick, who sat beside me. 

"Why? Is it because we're a little high up?" He chuckled, gazing at the sky line. 

"Just a little bit!? We're hanging off a building, Rick!" I practically screamed at him. 

He took me to the roof of our apartment complex to watch the sun set. If only I told him I was afraid of heights. 

**The Proper Way, in Second Person**

"I have a bad feeling about this." Jenny said to her boyfriend, Rick, who sat beside her. 

"Why? Is it because we're a little high up?" He chuckled, gazing at the sky line. 

"Just a little bit!? We're hanging off a building, Rick!" She practically screamed at him. 

Rick took Jenny up to the roof of their apartment complex to watch the sun set. Only she didn't tell him that she was afraid of heights. 

"There. Was that so hard? Because it really wasn't. Your story now looks much better and is now very easy to add small details to help enhance your story." 


	7. Enough With the Clichés, Use Your Own Ideas

He/She was always bullied... 

Parents always abused alcohol, drugs, or the child... 

Other sibling was always favored, leaving our Protagonist in ruin... 

He looked at her, making a bright blush appear on her face... 

She felt a strange sensation in her chest when he looked at her that way, but she didn't know what it was... 

Protagonist is an outcast, (which isn't always cliché, depends on how it is written,) and has no friends... 

Love at first sight... 

"Need I go on? I don't think I do. I see all of these way more than I'd like to admit. It's old, It's boring, please use your own ideas. Don't be like today's music where nearly every song on the radio sounds slightly different from the one before it. You are human, not a broken record." 


	8. You're Writing a Story, Not Texting

"Ur, C, B, etc. are words not letters. When you're writing you use the words, not the ridiculous shortcuts. However, if a character was texting in your story, and they chose to text that way, is 100% alright. Also, do not use things such as 'lol' or 'tmi' or whatever else in your story in a normal sentence. Again, don't use short cuts, it's sloppy and unattractive. You never see that in a proper published story. Unless, again, there is a texting sequence. Lastly, leave numbers out of your words. It is n3v3r enjoyable having to read words like this. This is a story, not Home Stuck, or whatever does that." 


	9. You See, I Can't do This Myself...

"So I just read a description to a story. I wasn't going to read the story because it wasn't of my interest, but I checked it out anyway. Maybe there'd be something to change my mind. There wasn't. And at the end, the author says this:" 

"Sorry for the bad writing, I don't have anyone to **review it for me**." 

"... You're joking, right? Because that's just pitiful. I'll admit, I don't like proof reading my stuff either, but it's just something you have to do if you want to make a good story. That excuse will not cut it. If anything, it is one of the worst excuses I've ever heard. And in my line of work, that is saying something." 


End file.
